


Unfinished Business

by katzengefluster



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M, a complete collection of all the WIPs that I'm never going to finish, heavy on the double b, well probably never going to finish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:08:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 19,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21764260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katzengefluster/pseuds/katzengefluster
Summary: A collection of stories I've started but am likely never going to finish.
Relationships: Kim Hanbin | B.I/Kim Jiwon | Bobby, OT7 Ikon
Comments: 16
Kudos: 60





	1. 10.15 Saturday Night

**Author's Note:**

> ~~It's a Christmas Countdown with some WIPs! I'll be posting one a day until Christmas, so I hope you enjoy them, even though they're unfinished.~~ Yeah I failed with this countdown, sorry, life got in the way. I'm just going to post them all at once instead.
> 
> I'm pretty confident I won't ever finish any of these (cause I have way too many collecting dust), but you never know... If you guys love any of them enough it might reignite my interest. ;)
> 
> I've decided to start off with this first one because it features the whole group. It was going to be an OT7 scene of smutty leader worship, but sadly it never quite made it to the smut stage. Regardless, I thought it would be a nice sentiment to lead off with. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

He stops just off the stage, still able to hear the sounds of cheering fans resonating down the halls. It’s nice to pause and listen to when it’s all over, nice to remember that no matter how long they perform, everyone still wants more. He leans against the wall and closes his eyes, yawning suddenly. Now that the show’s over his adrenaline comes to a crashing halt and exhaustion slithers in. It’s a combination of a late night filming in China coupled with a later flight to Japan, and normally he would have slept on the plane but instead he’d spent the entire flight in discomfort what with the pressure build up in his ears from a sinus congestion. He’d had a brief nap before the show, but it wasn’t enough given his current illness. He’s surprised his throat has held out so well, since he kind of feels like dying right now. It’s nice to just stand still, though it would of course be better to sit. Or lie down...   
  
“Come on hyung, no sleeping in the hallway!” Chanwoo’s voice startles Hanbin to the point that he feels completely disoriented and his legs suddenly feel weak, but Chanwoo’s got a strong arm around his shoulders. “Are you okay? Did you actually just fall asleep in the hall?”   
  
Hanbin leans heavily against him and mumbles a response in his shoulder that makes Chanwoo laugh. His feet feel like lead as he lets Chanwoo half drag him down the hall.   
  
“Come on, hyung, you can sleep in the dressing room! At least take your makeup off first,” Chanwoo teases him, and he keeps his arm tight around Hanbin’s shoulders as they get closer to the dressing room. Everyone else is inside already, in various states of undress and celebration. Chanwoo pulls Hanbin into the centre of the room and calls for reinforcement.   
  
“Bobby hyung, someone’s falling asleep!” Chanwoo calls out cheerfully, and seconds later Bobby’s in front of them with a concerned look on his face. Chanwoo happily pushes Hanbin into Bobby’s waiting arms, his duty done.   
  
Bobby catches Hanbin and hugs him close, arms tight around his back. “Ah no, Hanbin-ah! You okay?” Bobby asks, and he slides a hand up to Hanbin’s chin, tilting his head up.   
  
“I’m fine,” Hanbin answers, “just tired.” The statement’s punctuated with a yawn, which has Bobby grinning.   
  
“That’s what you get for working so hard,” Jinhwan says as he joins them, plastering himself to Hanbin’s back to sandwich him in between he and Bobby.   
  
“Working too hard, more like it,” Bobby says with a frown, patting Hanbin’s cheek.   
  
“I was fine during the show,” Hanbin sleepily mumbles before pressing his face into Bobby’s neck. Being in between two human furnaces feels exceptionally wonderful at the moment, like he’s already underneath the warmest blanket possible.   
  
“You’re a machine, hyung,” Donghyuk chimes in, reaching out to take one of Hanbin’s hands, “you did so good! I bet no one could tell you weren’t feeling your best.”   
  
“Our Hanbin-ie’s always a machine,” Bobby repeats, his tone heavy with both pride and teasing, “he sets such a good example for us all.”   
  
Donghyuk smacks Bobby’s arm playfully. “I was being serious!”   
  
“So was I!” Bobby replies in protest, and normally this is where he and Donghyuk would chase each other around the room playfully, but tonight they’ve got something a little more important to handle.   
  
“Why don’t we get him cleaned up and comfy so he can rest?” Donghyuk suggests, and it’s a testament to their concern for their leader when Bobby immediately calls a truce to their usual bickering and agrees with him. They settle Hanbin down on the couch and Donghyuk bounds off to get makeup wipes while Jinhwan gets him some water.   
  
Hanbin sinks back into the cushions and closes his eyes. He kind of wants to tell them to leave him alone and let him sleep, but they seem to be in some kind of weird mood. He opens his eyes when Donghyuk sits down next to him and touches his cheek.   
  
“Hold still while I take care of your eye liner,” Donghyuk instructs, and Hanbin figures it’s best to just let him do whatever it is he’s about to do. It still feels weird, though, because he’s not used to letting other people do things like this for him. He’s not exactly good at accepting this kind of stuff.   
  
Jinhwan sits down on his other side, one hand trailing fingers over Hanbin’s arm lightly. When Donghyuk takes a break from the cleansing routine, Jinhwan tips the bottle of water to Hanbin’s lips and convinces him to take a sip. Hanbin knows better than to dispute him, so he opens his mouth and swallows. Then Donghyuk’s back at his other eye and Jinhwan starts playing with his arm again, and as weird as it is—it’s kind of nice, too.   
  
He feels someone settle at his feet, unzipping his boots and pulling them off, his socks following. He doesn’t know who it is that’s currently massaging his sore feet, and he tries not to be annoying. They’re all being so nice to him right now, and he wonders whether he truly deserve it.   
  
“There, makeup’s off!” Donghyuk exclaims, and Hanbin opens his eyes then to see that the person at his feet is Yunhyeong.   
  
“Don’t complain,” Yunhyeong reprimands in advance, “you’ve been overworking yourself lately and you’re sick, so let us take care of you tonight.”   
  
Hanbin feels like protesting (because it’s what he does) but Donghyuk cuts in. “Listen to him, hyung! We’re worried about you and just want to show you our appreciation.” Donghyuk’s lithe fingers are massaging his hand now, fingers digging into the meat of his palm.   
  
Hanbin whines even though he appreciates it. “You guys don’t have to do this,” he replies, “I’ll be fine if you just let me sleep for a bit.”   
  
“Oh quit whining and just accept it when we try to do something nice for you,” Junhoe replies, approaching the couch with a cup in his hands. “Here, I made you some tea with honey and I swear if you complain about it I’ll throw it in your face.” Junhoe smiles in a threatening sort of way as he holds the cup out.   
  
It makes Hanbin laugh. “So affectionate.”   
  
Junhoe grins back at him, a slight blush on his cheeks. “Oh just shut up and drink it.”


	2. CCBCC Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I have this fic you may have read, called "Come Closer, Baby, Come Closer". It was originally supposed to have a second chapter. But despite having started it a few years ago, I just can't get myself in the same head space to write it anymore. So unfortunately I won't be writing the second part. But I couldn't let what I had written go to waste. ♥

“Are you sure you don’t want to join us?” Bobby asked.

Jinhwan cocked an eyebrow back at him. “Stop asking me before I take you up on your offer.”

Bobby grinned and shook his head. “I could think of worse things.”

“Honestly, Bobby, you don’t have to ask me out of politeness. I know when the right time to join is, and when I’ll just be an awkward third wheel. You can say whatever you want, but I know that both you and Hanbin only have eyes for each other tonight, and really, that’s okay. I got you guys for dinner, and dinner was fun. I don’t need to be involved in anything else tonight.”

“Are we not good enough for you anymore?” Bobby teased.

“I said  _ tonight _ , Bobby! Ask me tomorrow and I’ll have you both on your knees taking turns sucking my dick.” Jinhwan retorted.

Bobby laughed and reached out to ruffle Jinhwan’s hair affectionately. “Alright, fine. I’m just making sure. It’s only the three of us; I just don’t want you to feel left out.”

“I don’t, I promise.” Jinhwan said. “That’s sweet of you, but go be sweet to Hanbin instead, he was so well behaved during dinner.”

Bobby grinned. “He was, wasn’t he? I guess he deserves a reward.” Bobby winked at Jinhwan before leaving his room and heading back to he and Hanbin’s room. He leaned against the door frame, watching Hanbin, who was currently laying on his stomach, feet in the air while he typed something into his phone. Bobby's heart swelled with affection at the sight, to the point that he almost felt a little embarrassed by how deeply in love he was with Hanbin. Jinhwan had been right—he only had eyes for Hanbin tonight.

“I thought I told you to get ready?” Bobby chided, walking confidently into the room, slowly moving toward the bed.

“I know, I just got hit with inspiration,” Hanbin explained as he continued typing away.

“Let me read it?” Bobby asked, sitting down beside him, one hand settling on his back.

“Hold on a sec,” Hanbin replied, chewing on his lip as he pondered one final line before handing his phone to Bobby.

Bobby smiled at the lines, heart thudding in his chest. “Who inspired this?” He asked in a voice that was mockingly threatened.

Hanbin took his phone back, turning it off and tossing it in his night stand. “Some cute girl, you don’t know her.”

“Well whoever she is, you better cut things off.” Bobby joked, frowning when Hanbin grinned at him.

“No way, she’s super cute! I could write a million songs about her,” he teased, leaning on his elbow and staring up at Bobby.

“What?!” Bobby jokingly overreacted, huffing unhappily. “Not cool, Hanbin. You’re not allowed to have a girlfriend.”

“Seriously, she’s so cute, I think she might be  _ the one _ !” Hanbin carried on, laughing when Bobby stood up.

“You are just begging for punishment, aren’t you?” He teased aggressively.

Hanbin stayed where he was, eyes sparkling mischievously up at Bobby. “I can do whatever I want.”

Bobby shook his head in disagreement. “Oh no you can’t.” He grabbed Hanbin’s arms, dragging him up off the bed. “I think I need to give you a little reminder.”

“Of what?” Hanbin asked, not backing down.

“Of who you belong to.” Bobby stated aggressively before sitting down and pulling Hanbin down across his lap.

“Hyung! This isn’t necessary!” Hanbin whined, though he laughed a moment later.

“Oh it totally is!” Bobby replied, grabbing Hanbin’s pants and pulling them down. “Can’t have you forgetting who owns your ass.” Bobby raised a hand, playfully slapping it down on Hanbin’s ass cheek.

“Stop!” Hanbin whined, but instead of struggling he remained where he was.

“Nope, not until you remember your place.” Bobby grinned and spanked him again.

“I’m the leader of the group; I can do whatever I want!” Hanbin retorted, only pretending offense at the playful gesture. In reality he was pleased with Bobby’s reaction, very much turned on by his dominant behaviour.

“Not with me,” Bobby said, rubbing his hand over Hanbin’s ass before spanking him again.

At that moment they were interrupted by Jinhwan, who sheepishly entered the room wearing a grin. “Ignore me! Bobby has my charger, I need it.”

Hanbin couldn’t help but laugh at the interruption, not embarrassed at all to be caught in this position. At least not by Jinhwan.

“Do you want to get a good slap in, hyung?” Bobby offered, hands patting Hanbin’s ass invitingly.

Jinhwan stood by the door, charger in his hand, looking contemplatively at Hanbin. “What did he do?”

“He said he’s been writing songs about a  _ girl _ !” Bobby replied.

Jinhwan drew a sharp breath in, pretending shock. “Unbelievable!” He approached the bed quickly and spanked both of Hanbin’s cheeks, laughing when Hanbin cried out.

“Hyung! That actually kinda hurt!” Hanbin whined jokingly, looking over his shoulder at Jinhwan, who was grinning at him.

“Well you deserved it!” Jinhwan shot back.

Hanbin whined again, making a sad noise in his throat before sniffling for effect.

“Oh okay I’m sorry, don’t be upset!” Jinhwan joked back, leaning down to kiss the red hand prints he’d left on Hanbin’s cheeks. “There, is that better?” He asked, laughing when Hanbin nodded.

“Thanks!” Hanbin said with a laugh.

“Okay I’m going! You be good, Hanbin!” Jinhwan said, exchanging a grin with Bobby as he left the room.

“Tsk tsk, you’d better listen to Jinan-ie and behave!” Bobby said, emphasizing his point by spanking Hanbin again.

“I will! I promise!”

“Do you?” Bobby asked, rubbing a hand soothingly over Hanbin’s cheeks.

“Yes! Hyung, I lied before,” Hanbin said in a cute voice, looking over his shoulder at Bobby.

“Did you? About what?” Bobby asked, grinning from ear to ear.

“I wasn’t writing about a girl,” Hanbin said, smiling at Bobby, “I was writing about you.”

“I thought as much,” Bobby replied, “were you trying to make me jealous?”

Hanbin nodded. “It worked.”

“You like making hyung jealous? You like making hyung show you who’s boss?”

Hanbin nodded. “I like it when you get possessive.”

Bobby reached in between Hanbin’s legs, not surprised to find Hanbin’s dick hard. “Yeah you do, huh?” He squeezed it a few times, pleased when Hanbin sighed. “My baby likes getting his ass spanked, doesn’t he?”

“Yes, hyung,” Hanbin replied.

“You’re so lucky that hyung loves you so much, aren’t you?” Bobby prompted.

Hanbin responded physically, rising up on his knees, ass in the air as an offering of allegiance.

Bobby took it, leaning forward to slide his tongue in between Hanbin’s cheeks, licking aggressively against Hanbin’s puckered entrance. The contact made Hanbin shiver, shoving himself back against Bobby’s face. Bobby responded with renewed aggression, tongue in Hanbin’s ass and hand on his dick.

\---

Bobby sat back against the wall and wiped his mouth, pleased with how quickly Hanbin had come for him. Sometimes they made it a competition, seeing who could hold out the longest (they’d even timed each other a few times before). Currently Hanbin held the record for the longest hold out--but he also held the record for the shortest.

Bobby watched him now, peacefully curled in on himself, a very content smile on his face that Bobby himself was the cause of. 

\---

“You’re always so good for me, babe,” Bobby whispered the praise in Hanbin’s ear, nuzzling at his neck in the process. “I wanna make you come over and over again tonight.”

Hanbin smiled at Bobby’s words, cracking open his eyes so he could stare up at him. Multiple orgasms wasn’t something they were in the habit of giving each other (usually they simply lacked the time for it) but Hanbin would gladly follow Bobby through anything at the moment.

“Whatever you want.” Hanbin wrapped his arms around Bobby, turning on his side to cuddle his way into Bobby’s chest.

“Whatever I want, really?” Bobby ran a finger down Hanbin’s cheek, his touch soft and teasing.

Hanbin nodded. “Anything.”


	3. 3.16 Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I kind of lost track of posting these, so I've decided to just post all of them at once.
> 
> This was going to be a slight dubcon JunBob.

_ ‘hey hyung, can we swap bunks til my knee is better?’ _ Junhoe sat down gingerly on Hanbin’s bed and leaned forward to take off his socks, certain Hanbin would agree, but wanting to be polite enough to ask first. Hanbin would probably be back late again, ghosting in at six in the morning after writing all night. Junhoe really wasn’t eager for a confused wake up, because Hanbin probably wouldn’t notice him since they liked to keep their room dark.   
  
_ ‘sure go for it’ _ Hanbin’s response was short and simple and Junhoe was happy to read it. Climbing the ladder to his top bunk was not high on his list of priorities right now, not with his sprained knee. Hanbin was good that way.   
  
_ ‘thnx hyung’ _ Junhoe plugged his phone in and pulled himself up again, changing into shorts and a t shirt for bed. He was exhausted after limping around and wanted nothing more than to fall asleep right away. He settled into Hanbin’s bed, pulling the covers up to his chin. Not only was Hanbin at the studio for the foreseeable future, but Bobby was out as well, some club thing with Minho. He probably wouldn’t be back for a few hours, so it granted Junhoe some quiet time before falling asleep.   
  
It wasn’t often that he had this kind of privacy and alone time in his room, and he contemplated jerking off before falling asleep. He would have, were he in his own bunk, but he was in Hanbin’s bed, and it just made the whole idea seem awkward (not that he and Hanbin were awkward that way--they’d actually made out a few times, but that had been before they’d gained Bobby as a roommate). No, better off just falling asleep. He was tired enough to not need it anyway.   
  
\-----   
  
Bobby fumbled with his keys, brain addled from the booze. He probably shouldn’t have had that last beer, but Jiho had a way with words that just toppled Bobby’s self control, especially with Minho there egging him on. Whatever, they didn’t have a schedule tomorrow so he’d be fine! He kicked his shoes off at the door, giggling when they landed on Jinhwan’s favourite pair of Doc Marten’s.   
  
He stumbled down the hall to his room, trying to be quiet due to the late night hour. He entered the shared bedroom, turning on his phone flashlight to see his way around. To his surprise, Hanbin was actually in his bed despite it only being three in the morning. Bobby hadn’t expected him back until the early morning. It was a welcome sight, though. But he was still just barely sober enough to make sure he didn’t get into anything terrible.   
  
“Hey, Junhoe?” He called out in a loud whisper. “Junhoe-ya, are you awake?” There was no answer. “If you’re sleeping for real, I’m gonna make out with Hanbin, so like, tell me.” Bobby laughed to himself again, and when there was no answer from Junhoe he pulled his hoodie off and tossed it on his bed. His jeans followed and then his shirt. He usually only slept in his boxers, maybe a tshirt if he was cold.   
  
But he was going to have company tonight, so he wasn’t exactly concerned about staying warm. Granted, Hanbin did get cold easily, but between the two of them they’d be fine!   
  
“Junhoe-ya, last chance! Sorry if we wake you up,” Bobby giggled to himself as he approached Hanbin’s bed, pleased when Junhoe didn’t speak up. Usually Junhoe was a pretty heavy sleeper (or he was just very good at blocking out unwanted noises from below).   
  
Of course, Bobby wouldn’t say no to Junhoe joining in, even, but every time he’d brought it up, it never ended up happening. At first he’d wondered if Junhoe was simply a little  _ too straight _ for their kind of fun, but Hanbin had told him otherwise. Jinhwan had also confirmed that he’d messed around with Junhoe before, and at Bobby’s last count, it seemed as though Yunhyeong was the only one who hadn’t gotten a taste of him (mostly because Yunhyeong wasn’t really into experimentation with guys, unfortunately).   
  
Bobby was actually a little jealous, because he’d been interested in Junhoe for ages. Junhoe wasn’t exactly the easiest to proposition, though. When he’d asked Hanbin, he’d said that he always used to wait for Junhoe to come to him. That seemed to be the main case, with Jinhwan being the only exception (Jinhwan always got what he wanted).   
  
So Bobby had waited. He’d made himself available, he’d tried to appeal to him. But for whatever reason Junhoe had never quite taken the bait. He’d tried to enlist Hanbin’s help, but he was annoyingly staying out of it.   
  
Whatever. Maybe tonight he’d try and get Hanbin off so good Junhoe wouldn’t have a choice but to come inquiring for his own turn. Bobby would be ready for him!   
  
He perched at the side of Hanbin’s bed and reached out a hand to stroke down Hanbin’s arm, trying to decide on how he ought to wake him up. Should he even bother? Or should he just get right to business? Hanbin was always good that way, always ready for him.   



	4. B Dragon Chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A self indulgent Jiyong/Hanbin mentor chat I never got around to finishing.

They've been sitting in silence together for at least ten minutes now and Hanbin is reminded of how grateful he needs to be for these opportunities, reminded that he can't allow himself to feel entitled to this special treatment (because he knows that's exactly what it is). These moments are different from the ones they spend together  _ at work _ – when it's G Dragon talking and B.I listening. Those moments are the ones he has a right to feel entitled to (not that he'd ever say that to anyone, but he knows that despite what people might say, Jiyong is very invested in the future of YG). But these moments – when it's Kwon Jiyong and Kim Hanbin - these ones are special.

With his chin resting on his arms and his eyes trained on the other man, Hanbin can't help but smile what he knows must be the world's dopiest looking smile. He's so content right now, despite the ever-present anxiety that's been slowly eating away at him lately. This moment is a much needed breath of fresh air, oxygen after being deprived. It's been a while since Jiyong has done this, just sit with him and check in, give Hanbin the opportunity to spill his concerns to the only person in the whole of the company who can truly understand. The timing is terrible, of course, since he's in the middle of Mix & Match, but he did just get cut from Show Me The Money and if he hadn't been, then he'd be in the studio with Tablo and Wu right now. So he's not going to feel guilty for taking time away from the group for himself – especially not because he knows deep down that he sorely needs it.

Jiyong looks at him suddenly, eyes focusing and lips pulling up in a smile that has Hanbin's heart fluttering. Fuck, he's  _ so lucky _ that he has this kind of access! He grins in response and Jiyong pats the couch next to him. Hanbin obediently goes over to him and sits down, feeling the burn of the blush that's creeping over his cheeks. Jiyong never calls him on it though, and he's grateful for that.

“What's the goofy smile for?” Jiyong asks him with a laugh, and Hanbin isn't even embarrassed about it.

He shrugs before answering, because even though his brain isn't embarrassed that doesn't stop his body from trying to protect his stupid teenage pride. “Just remembering how lucky I am.” he says quietly, and maybe, to anyone else, it would sound weird to hear that from him right now. He just got cut from a program that meant a lot to him, that he desperately wanted to prove himself on, and he's stuck in the middle of another program that has the potential to tear apart the six-person family he's been with for the past two years.

But Jiyong understands him. “Good.” the older rapper states, pleased with Hanbin's answer. They go back to silence then for a bit, but Hanbin is still happy. Jiyong knows that he likes to take his time before getting to the heart of his concerns, and just like a good leader, Jiyong knows not to press him to hurry up. Everything is a lesson and Hanbin never fails to remember that as well.

But Hanbin does have a team to get back to at some point tonight, and he's sure Jiyong has better things to do than babysit him. So the smile slips from his face and he plucks up the nerve to start this conversation. “Sometimes I feel like, my confidence is misplaced?” He starts, which is a terrible start because it's not entirely what he means. “Not that I doubt myself, because I don't, I know I'm the only person in this team that can lead the team. I should be the leader, I know that, and I believe it.” He pauses then, corralling his thoughts. “But sometimes it just feels like, maybe I think more of myself than I should? Which again I know I should, because if I don't believe in myself as a leader than how can I possibly lead?” It isn't often that Hanbin has a hard time expressing what's in his head, but tonight is clearly one of those times. Maybe Show Me The Money is hitting him harder than he wants to admit.

“I understand.” Jiyong states, and Hanbin is grateful.

He takes a breath before turning his head and meeting Jiyong's eyes. “Did you ever feel that way?” He asks, nervous to hear Jiyong's answer.

“Of course I did,” Jiyong states without hesitation, and Hanbin lets out the breath he's been holding. “I'd have never admitted it to anyone, and I never really talked about it. But it was there.”

Hanbin nods and feels slightly comforted. “How did you get over it?”

Jiyong grins at the question. “I wrote Lies and it blew the fuck up.” he answers with a laugh, and Hanbin joins him. Seconds later and Jiyong is serious again. “There's no easy answer. Honestly all you can do is acknowledge your concern, and just make sure it never outweighs your confidence. If it does start to affect you, that's when you need help. But if you just let it sit there, and you learn to use it to guide yourself, you'll be okay.”

Hanbin nods and feels comforted by the answer. He hadn't really been expecting a solution after all – just understanding, confirmation that he isn't weak. “Did you ever talk to anyone in Big Bang about it?” He asks next, and that's the question he's really looking to discuss.

Jiyong takes a bit longer to answer this time, pausing to sip from the beer he's been nursing. Finally he shakes his head. “No. There wasn't really anyone to talk to, honestly. Youngbae knew me well enough to navigate those times, but we didn't talk about them. Whenever he saw me getting antsy he'd make a comment about what a good job I was doing as the leader, and it would help to remind me that I was really doing okay.”

Hanbin smiles at the example. “Yeah, Bobby hyung's like that.” That makes Jiyong smile, which in turn makes Hanbin smile even wider.

“To be honest with you, I may have let my concerns slip to Seunghyun hyung a few times over drinks, though he was always kind enough to never mention them the day after.” Jiyong admits.

“Or he was too drunk and forgot you said anything?” Hanbin adds cheekily, happy when he makes Jiyong laugh.

“Yeah probably that,” Jiyong agrees. “I didn't have anyone though, no one at all. I used to talk to Seven hyung about things, but he was solo, so he never would have understood the group dynamic. I kept a lot of things to myself, and to be honest that probably did more harm than good in the early days.”

Hanbin hears what Jiyong doesn't say out loud –  _ that's why I'm so concerned about you; that's why I let you have access to me _ . It chokes his throat up a little and they share another moment of silence while Hanbin processes the admission and warning Jiyong gives him. He's again reminded of just how lucky he is. “Sometimes I feel like talking to them about it all, Jinhwan and Bobby.” Hanbin admits, looking at Jiyong to gauge his opinion.

Jiyong nods, looks pensive. “I can't tell you whether or not that's the right decision,” he says, “Only you know that. But I will ask you this – what are you hoping to get from them?” Hanbin pauses at the question and thinks about it, because it is a really good question. What does he want from them? What is he hoping to gain by sharing his anxious concerns? “Do you want advice from them, do you want help making decisions? Or do you just want a hug and a pat on the head, acknowledgement that you're doing a good job?”

Hanbin is surprised at the simple way Jiyong breaks it all down – but that's what years as a successful leader will get you, he supposes. You quickly learn to pick the real issues out of the pile of false ones. “The second.” he admits, and he knows it for certainty. He's never shied away from accepting full responsibility for every choice related to his group – and he's not looking to share it. He likes being in control, but he needs support. He knows he already has it – he just needs to let himself accept it.

Jiyong nods and again seems pleased with Hanbin's answers. He shifts a little and puts his arm around Hanbin's shoulder, pulling the younger one into his side. “You have a really good team, Hanbin-ah. Whatever happens with Mix & Match, I'm relieved you have those two with you. Make sure you use them.” Jiyong states, and Hanbin nods. He shares Jiyong's relief, and right now he wants nothing more than to show his two closest members just how much he values them. They know, of course, but Jiyong often tells him that part of his job as a leader is to reinforce how important everyone is to the team. Bobby and Jinhwan might not need to hear him say it, but Hanbin needs them to hear him say it.

Hanbin burrows into Jiyong's side for a moment, his arms encircling Jiyong's waist and clinging tightly. “Thanks, hyung.” he states with complete sincerity, and suddenly Jiyong's pressing his face into Hanbin's hair and Hanbin is floored with the revelation that these talks aren't just for him – they're equally for Jiyong. He remembers words spoken just moments ago –  _ I didn't have anyone though, no one at all _ – and he's hit hard all over again with the realization that Jiyong desperately wants him to know that things are different for Hanbin. He has Jiyong, and Jiyong will always understand everything he's dealing with. Lucky, lucky, lucky.

They both cling to each other for what feels like an absurdly long time to Hanbin, but he's in no rush to pull away. There are so many things they're both saying to each other right now and he doesn't want to interrupt them. It's Jiyong who pulls back first, and that's how it should be, Hanbin thinks. Jiyong is the example that Hanbin will always be happy to follow.

“I'm proud of you; you know that, right?” Jiyong asks him, and Hanbin can't help the smile that lights up his face. Those are words he will never, ever get tired of hearing, even during those moments when he feels like they're not deserved.

“I know.” he admits quietly, and Jiyong leans against him again.

A moment later and Jiyong is laughing quietly, his hand ruffling through Hanbin's hair. “I should probably stop telling you that so often. I think I'm too nice to you.”

Hanbin laughs and again his mind is flash flooded with thoughts of  _ special treatment _ – but he quickly drains them out. It's not his place to question Jiyong's affection, he just has to appreciate it and let it be the balm he so desperately needs. “I promise I will always try my hardest to deserve your praise, hyung.” he teases Jiyong.

“Listen to you,” Jiyong states, his tone half warm affection and half censure, “You haven't even debuted yet and you feel comfortable teasing me. You should be terrified of me.”

Hanbin grins and this time  _ special treatment _ only leaves him feeling happy and not concerned. “B.I is terrified of GD; please don't make Hanbin be terrified of Jiyong.” he says it jokingly but they both know he's serious. When they're in the studio, or when they're around anyone else, this is different. Hanbin is different, and Jiyong is different, and you'd never tell from their interactions that sometimes they just sit side by side and make each other giggle with stupid comments. The respect is always there between them, but when it's just the two of them, it's the affection that wins out every time.

“You're lucky you remind me so much of myself.” Jiyong states, and though Hanbin usually feels uncomfortable with the constant comparisons, he loves hearing them from Jiyong.


	5. beach blindfold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to turn into some blindfolded public sex on the beach...

Despite the blindfold it didn't seem dark—everything was bright behind closed eyelids, like he'd been staring at the sun for too long and the white light was burned into his retina. The sun was still overhead, its warm rays teasing his skin, a pleasant tingle in anticipation of actual touch. He smelled salt in the sea air, could have sworn he could taste it too as the breeze danced across his cheek, a gentle caress in the afternoon that made him feel like he was flying. It was easy to lose yourself in the clouds when the wind ruffled your hair and you swayed slowly, suspended between two trees, the side to side rocking motion lulling you to fantasy. That's where his mind was right now—adrift in the sky.

A hand on his inner thigh brought his attention back down to earth, soft fingers light on his skin. He smiled at the contact, the ingrained light in his eyes intensifying at the touch. Here was his sun, the very centre of his universe, and Bobby had never felt happier to be locked in orbit with anyone.

“Move your legs.”

Bobby complied, pulling his knees into his chest, the hammock rocking slightly as Hanbin straddled it before dipping down with his added weight. Hanbin's light touch at Bobby's knees guided his limbs back out, elbows tucking legs in against his rib cage. Bobby felt Hanbin sliding one leg up into the hammock, followed by the other, and then Hanbin's toes were nudging his head, and Bobby knew by the brilliance of his white eyelids that Hanbin was flashing him a megawatt smile. There was no better feeling than this, as far as Bobby was concerned, being tangled up with Hanbin.

A happy sigh greeted him. “Success.”

Bobby laughed at Hanbin's remark. “Well done; I think we've finally mastered the hammock.”

“Mm, impressive, right? We only ever fell out once?”

Bobby laughed at the memory. Only a few days prior when they'd first arrived, excitement over the double hammock urging them forward without a sound plan of action, seconds later and they were unceremoniously dumped out face first into the sand, tearful laughter choking the both of them up. Moments like those were ones you tended to treasure for decades, silly little occurrences that taught you valuable lessons. Bobby shared a lot of moments like that with Hanbin, each one still fresh in his mind, a fond smile gracing his lips at every remembrance. “It was quite the fall, though.”

Hanbin echoed Bobby's laughter, and the sound made Bobby's heart beat a little faster in his chest. “I think I was still spitting out sand the next morning.”

Bobby grinned at the admission, tucking his elbows into Hanbin's knees, making them a perfect mirror of one another even though he couldn't see it. He could feel it, though, and he'd always thought that the feel of it was more important than the sight.


	6. Canon gay/straight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be part of a very long fic I'd planned to write set in canon, with a gay Hanbin in love with a straight Bobby. Bin was going to develop a few relationships with other guys in the industry with Bobby there as an over protective bff.

“Hey, mom?” Bobby looks in at her from the doorway, and she beckons him in with a wave of the hand.

“Come here, baby, come sit with me,” she pats the bed next to her, and Bobby takes a seat, “what's on your mind?”

Bobby's not sure where to begin, isn't entirely sure he should even be telling her this, but it's not like she needs all the details, does she? “Did you ever have a friend, like a really good friend, who suddenly confessed that they were in love with you?” He holds his breath and waits for her answer.

She just laughs at him and puts her arm around him, drawing him close until he's lying against her, face tucked in just at her neck. “I knew something was bothering you! I could see it on your face these past few days, my baby. Your mother still knows how to read you!” She peppers his forehead with kisses and Bobby groans.

“Okay but, have you?” He asks, because he's dying to know, dying for advice.

She smiles at him in a conspiratorial way. “You know, when your father first confessed to me, I told him I thought of him as only a friend.”

Bobby looks up at her in surprise. “Really?” He'd never heard that before.

She laughs and nods. “Yes! We were friends, classmates, and he confessed to me. I thought it was a disaster! I liked his friend, didn't want to hurt his feelings.”

“So what happened?” Bobby was curious about how they'd gotten past the hurdle.

“Well, nothing, at first. He respected my feelings and we continued to be friends, and I dated his friend for a while and he never got upset about it. Always said he was happy for me, if I was making choices that I wanted. But eventually, after a failed relationship, I started to look at things differently. Started to look at him differently. I spent so long chasing after people I thought I knew, only to find strangers. But through it all there was your father, and I realized that he knew all there was to know about me, and I knew him, and every time we were together I would smile and laugh, even when I came to him bitter and heartbroken.” She paused and looked down at him, studying his face.

Bobby looked back, wishing his own predicament was that simple. “So, you were still able to be friends without anything being awkward?”

“Yes, we were close friends through it all. So my advice to you, my little bunny, is to appreciate any love that comes to you. You never know when it may turn out to be the love you so desperately need, and are looking in the wrong place for!”

Bobby grinned and wondered how she'd react if she knew who he was talking about. He knew she assumed that he was talking about a girl, and Bobby wished he was. But this was all about Hanbin, and there was no way Bobby would ever wake up and realize that he was in love back. No, all he wanted was confirmation that friendship was still possible, that Hanbin's feelings didn't have to get in the way of their friendship.

“Thanks, mom. That makes me feel a lot better.”

~

“Hey, you wanna come for a walk with me?” Bobby stands awkwardly beside Hanbin's chair, wants to be less formal about this but he needs to respect the fact that Hanbin doesn't know what's running through his head.

“Sure, hyung.” Hanbin answers, nervous and stiff in his speech. He saves his files and shuts off the computer screen, follows Bobby out of the building and into the sunlight. He feels better out here, in the fresh air and sunshine, grateful that the winter hasn't settled too firmly over them just yet.

They walk for a while until they reach the park by the river, and there Bobby sits them down at a long bench, glancing around to make sure no one is within earshot. “I thought about what you told me, before I left.”

Hanbin doesn't trust himself to speak, just nods and waits for Bobby to continue.

“I just wanted to say that, well, it doesn't bother me, at all,” he looks at Hanbin, meets his eyes and tries to tell him through gaze alone how much he means every word he's saying, “I don't care that you have a thing for me, really, it's okay.”

Hanbin lets out the breath he's been holding, relief flooding through him. He knew better than to expect Bobby returning his feelings, but if he can accept them without being uncomfortable, that's what matters most to Hanbin.

Bobby smiles at Hanbin's full-bodied relief. “Also, uh, if you ever want to talk about it, you know, if you have a guy you like, or something, you can tell me.” He means it, honestly means it. He wants Hanbin to feel like he can come to him about anything.

“Are you sure?” Hanbin asks, because he desperately wants Bobby to be honest. It's difficult hiding the truth from everyone, and having one person he could confide in would honestly be all he needs.

“Yeah, I mean it! I mean I've talked to you about girls before, so it's only fair if you want to talk to me about guys. And like, you can still touch me, it won't bother me,” he explains, though he flushes at Hanbin's intrigued expression, “I don't mean like that!” They both laugh and Bobby edges closer to him and puts his arm around Hanbin's shoulders. “Like, if you want a hug, or you feel like you need to hold my hand or something, the way you did before you told me how you felt, that's okay. It won't bother me.”

Hanbin feels the heaviest weight of them all lift off his shoulders, because that in particular means a lot to him, that Bobby is willing to treat him normally even while knowing that Hanbin's got a thing for him. He leans into Bobby and wraps an arm around his chest. “Okay.” He doesn't trust himself to say much more than that.

Bobby wraps both arms around him, holding him close and resting his chin in Hanbin's hair. “I love you, you know? Not the way you want me to, but I still love you. I promise this won't make things weird between us, okay?”

“Okay.” Hanbin replies, grateful to hear him say it out loud at least once in his lifetime. It’ll make it that much easier to move on with his affection.


	7. Fever Dream chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'd started the second part of Fever Dream years ago, but never got back into it.

The next time they meet it’s in a quiet alley in Hanbin’s neighbourhood at nearly four in the morning. Hanbin’s on his way home after spending the majority of his night writing lyrics for a new song, some bullshit  _ digital single _ effort to placate the Korean fans while they’ve spent the past few months hopping between Japan and China. He’s been repeating a new mantra lately of  _ ‘just be happy with what you have’ _ because thinking of anything else is frustrating.   
  
It’s not the touring that bothers him. He loves the concerts, is grateful they’re able to sell seats to tour already.   
  
The problem is that touring is all they’ve been doing. There’s been zero talk of a comeback, zero efforts made to discuss a second album (it’s not like they don’t have music, because Hanbin’s been writing non-stop whenever he’s got the time). When Hanbin compares them to other rookie groups of the last year, it’s almost infuriating at how different their schedules are. And it’s not changing anytime soon. They have a competition show in China coming up (that’s been hanging like a noose around his neck, because he’s just barely got a hold on enough Japanese for their concerts, and soon that’s all going to be forgotten to make way for Mandarin) and after that who knows?   
  
Bobby’s supposed to be releasing solo stuff at some point this year, and while Hanbin’s excited for him, he’s not sure he believes that it’s going to happen. But he doesn’t have the heart to tell Bobby to curtail his expectations. At least one of them is happy and excited. Hanbin tries to leech off of that excitement whenever he’s feeling frustrated.   
  
But that’s an impossible task when Bobby (and everyone else) is sleeping and Hanbin’s still awake, his mind on constant overdrive. So even though he doesn’t expect a response (because he’s sure he’s the only damn fool still awake at this hour) he texts Namjoon, just to let off steam.   
  
Unexpectedly Namjoon texts him back, asks him if he wants to meet up briefly.   
  
They don’t really have anywhere to meet up, but it’s a nice night out, so Hanbin jokes that a back alley will have to do.   
  
Namjoon accepts.   
  
Hanbin is grateful that he at least wore a hoodie and a snapback when he left, and he hides his face away in the shadows, a face mask pulled up over his nose. He knows this is a stupid idea, but he’s frustrated enough to make a stupid decision right now, and he slides down to sit on the ground while he waits. This isn’t the first time he’s been in this alley, though the other times were never to meet anyone, they were always just to get away. Every time he’s sat here it’s been the same schedule—no one at all for hours, until the first hurried business man walks by the end of the alley at 5:48AM. Hanbin’s been here six separate times, and he’s always got his eyes on the clock waiting, and all six times he hasn’t been disappointed.   
  
It’s the little details in life that sometimes make the biggest difference. It’s why he feels like it’s just safe enough, even though it’s still stupid. There are always unknown factors. Namjoon’s presence here is an unknown factor, after all. What if he’s not the only one sitting up awake right now? What if there’s someone else out there watching, and he sees Hanbin tonight and thinks— _ ‘Ah, there’s that loner kid again, skulking around the alley!’ _   
  
Namjoon’s presence is an odd comfort when he arrives.   
  
“I’d say you’re a sight for sore eyes, but I can barely see you,” Namjoon says softly, and Hanbin laughs before lowering the mask and tilting his cap back a bit.   
  
“Sorry for the secrecy, you never know who’s watching.” Hanbin grins and Namjoon grins back.   
  
“One of us needs to get their license and a car.” Namjoon says, and Hanbin nods.   
  
“Yeah I’ll work on that as soon as I have a week in the fucking country.” he says with a harder edge than he means to have.   
  
But Namjoon understands, and he takes Hanbin’s hand and threads their fingers together. “How are things?”   
  
Hanbin sighs, because there are different answers he can give. “In general, things are good. Personally, I’m pissed off. But that’s nothing new at this company.” He smiles and hopes Namjoon doesn’t think his problem is worse than it really is. Hanbin doesn’t want to complain too much, because things could always be worse. They could be stuck doing nothing, no tours, no album in sight. At least they’re doing things.   
  
It’s just not the things that he wants to be doing.   
  
“You wanna talk about it?” Namjoon asks, and Hanbin shakes his head.   
  
“Not really, sorry. I shouldn’t be complaining.” Hanbin squeezes his hand, and he’s feeling a little calmer, at least, now that he’s got company.   
  
“It’s okay to complain. If you don’t, then it’ll just eat you up inside, and one day you’ll explode. No one wants that.”   
  
Hanbin nods, because Namjoon’s right. But Hanbin’s not good at talking about his problems. There’s literally nothing Namjoon can do for him, so why waste his time? At least from a business perspective.   
  
“I’ll be okay. Sitting in a dark alley at four in the morning, talking about my issues isn’t really what I was looking for.” Hanbin says with a grin, and Namjoon turns to face him.   
  
“No? Just what are you looking for, then?”   
  
Hanbin reaches out for him, slides his hand around Namjoon’s neck and pulls him closer. Namjoon came wearing a face mask too, and Hanbin pulls that down to expose his mouth, and he kisses him hard, tongue digging against Namjoon’s lips.   
  
Namjoon kisses back, because he’s got worries of his own that he needs to drown out. Kissing Hanbin in some random alley where anyone could walk by is definitely not smart, and Namjoon’s surprised at himself for doing it. But it’s been awhile since they’ve seen each other, and Namjoon’s feeling desperate. Watching each other on their phones can only do so much. It’s good to have Hanbin right here in his grasp, where he can touch his face and feel his breath against his skin.   
  
They kiss for a good ten minutes, and Namjoon is sure that’s all they’re going to do. But suddenly Hanbin’s hand is on his belt, and Namjoon pulls back.   
  
“What are you doing?” He asks, not that he wants Hanbin to stop, but, this isn’t exactly the place.   
  
Hanbin stares at him with pleading eyes, and Namjoon gets a little lost in them.    
  
...   
  
“Oh, I have news!” Namjoon says suddenly, and Hanbin is all ears. “I told my members.”   
  
“You did?” Hanbin asks, and he waits, hoping it’s good news.   
  
“Wanna guess their reaction? Every single one of them?” Namjoon asks with a grin, and Hanbin knows then that it’s fine. “They all looked at each other and then told me  _ ‘Yeah, we know!’ _ I don’t know how they knew, but, it’s nice to finally be open about it.”   
  
Hanbin smiles and feels happy for him, because getting that off your chest is honestly so liberating. “I’m happy you told them.”   
  
“Me too. Thanks for inspiring me.”


	8. Rebuilding Bobby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be a long fic about Bobby getting hurt from a massive concussion and losing his memory for a while, with the boys struggling to help him remember who he was.

It happens in the blink of an eye.  
  
They’re filming a video for their comeback and one of the camera cranes breaks, crashing down on Bobby’s head. It’s utter chaos. There’s no blood but Bobby’s out cold, a lump growing on the side of his head while his skin blossoms purple.  
  
The others are a wreck but Hanbin keeps his cool somehow, doesn’t lose his shit even when the medics put a neck brace on Bobby and carefully roll him onto a stretcher, strapping him down for the drive to the hospital.  
  
They follow him to the hospital but the doctors don’t let any of them see him because they’re technically not family. Hanbin feels numb as he waits, he sits and watches the others. Donghyuk and Jinhwan haven’t stopped crying, though the tears are quiet, at least. Chanwoo doesn’t say anything, just sits there looking sick to his stomach. Junhoe complains vehemently about the _family only_ rule the hospital employs, and Hanbin knows he’s only doing it to burn off the nerves about Bobby’s condition.  
  
Hanbin and Yunhyeong are the only ones who manage to keep themselves together, though Hanbin thinks his calmness is only a thin veil, hiding the bubbling panic underneath it all. He’s calm because he _has_ to be. If he flips out, the others will flip out harder.  
  
Yunhyeong is the one who’s actively checking on the others, doling out hugs and cups of coffee. He leaves Hanbin alone, though. They can probably all sense his precarious hold on himself, they know it might slip if they ask him if he’s okay.  
  
Bobby’s mother shows up first and the first thing she does is scold the doctors for keeping the boys away from her son. With her blessing they can see him now, not all at the same time, though.  
  
Hanbin lets the others go first. He tells himself it’s because he wants to put their needs ahead of his own, but in reality he’s afraid. They’re still waiting for the results of scans, waiting to see what the verdict is.  
  
When he can’t put off the visit any longer Hanbin goes in to join Bobby’s mom, stands by her side and looks down at Bobby. It hurts so much more than he thought it would, it terrifies him in a way he hadn’t expected. He wants to lay down next to him, wants to hold him and kiss his face, but he can’t do that with Bobby’s mother here, because she doesn’t know about them.  
  
Doesn’t know that they’re a _couple,_ doesn’t know that her son is in love with another man.  
  
She knows they’re close, of course, and he could probably get away with everything except the kissing because she knows that Hanbin’s clingy, has heard Bobby complain about it often enough.  
  
He can’t chance it, though. So all he does is stand there, watching, waiting. Hoping.  
  
\---  
  
Bobby doesn’t wake up for a day, and when he does none of them are ready for it.  
  
He calls for his mom, who’s already beside him, but the next name on his lips is one that the seven of them don’t expect.  
  
“Where’s Hanna?”  
  
They all look at each other in confusion. Hanna?  
  
“What was that, baby?” His mom asks, confused as well.  
  
“I’ve gotta, we have class…” Bobby trails off, and he’s only been speaking English so far, and it hits Hanbin like a ton of bricks.  
  
Bobby is talking about Hanna _Park_ , his first girlfriend.  
  
When he was fourteen.  
  
“You don’t have class, baby, you’re not in school.” His mom laughs and touches his cheek.  
  
Hanbin feels like throwing up.  
  
“Yeah, we have a test,” Bobby tries to say, licking his dry lips.  
  
“Do you want some water, baby?” His mom picks up the cup next to his bed and looks around for a straw.  
  
“No, I gotta go, it’s science.”  
  
Bobby is stuck on fourteen years old. Is this normal? Hanbin wants to find the doctor and drill him full of questions. Is this a normal part of the waking up process after a concussion? He’s going to come back to himself, right? It won’t last?  
  
He watches but doesn’t pay attention as Bobby’s mom continues to fuss over him, hears them talking but it’s all background noise, in one ear and out the other. Bobby’s stuck at fourteen, the first name on his lips that of an old girlfriend that he hasn’t talked about in years.  
  
Hanbin bolts from the room and makes for the bathroom, falling to his knees and throwing up in the toilet. He hasn’t eaten since the accident, so it’s mostly bile and it makes his throat burn.  
  
Bobby’s memory will come back. Of course it will. This is temporary. He only just woke up, of course wires are still crossed. They might be for a few days. But it won’t last.  
  
It can’t last.  
  
\---  
  
It lasts.  
  
A week later they finally let Bobby out of the hospital, but he’s at home with his parents.  
  
He doesn’t recognize any of them, doesn’t know them anymore. His brain is still confused, he thinks he’s supposed to be back in Virginia, in junior high school. He thinks he has a girlfriend.  
  
Hanbin hasn’t been to see him. He knows that he needs to, knows that they’re all going to go and visit him soon, show him some videos and tell him stories. The doctors had told them to give him a bit of time first, let him rest. Besides the memory thing he’s got other problems, his motor skills are off, he can’t even brush his teeth by himself. It’s getting better, but Hanbin can’t see him like that. Can’t see him helpless.  
  
It wouldn’t be a problem if Bobby remembered him, but he’s a stranger to him.  
  
It’s put a complete stranglehold on their group activities. They won’t promote as six, won’t even hear the possibility. (The more time goes by, though, the more terrified Hanbin is, because they might have to promote as six one day if Bobby doesn’t get better.)  
  
Donghyuk has been to see Bobby a few times, he’s gotten nowhere but Donghyuk has never been the type to give up before exhausting every opportunity. He spends at least an hour a day at church, just sitting in the stillness, silent prayers constantly on offer. The others have gone with him at least once, both for themselves and for him.  
  
Except Hanbin. He prays, but he only ever used to go to church for Bobby, and he can’t bring himself to cross the threshold of the building without him.  
  
He spends every minute of the day at the studio, though he’s barely gotten anything done. He always starts out trying to write, but by the end of the hour he’s watching performance videos, watching Bobby. It won’t work without him.  
  
Raesung tries to distract him, plays him beats and tries to engage him in stupid lyrical games, tries to jog his creativity so it doesn’t go to waste. But Hanbin hears Bobby in everything, and it hurts.  
  
He feels bad about bothering Raesung during his working hours, so whenever his younger friend comes in to work for the day, Hanbin heads next door to Jaewon’s studio.  
  
Where Raesung continually tries to distract Hanbin, Jaewon lets him mope. Half the time they just sit on the floor and Jaewon lets Hanbin cuddle into his side. Jaewon is one of the few people outside of the group who knows about Hanbin and Bobby, who knows why the memory loss has put Hanbin’s entire life on hold.  
  
But tomorrow is the day they’ve picked to visit Bobby, to try and start jogging his memory. Hanbin’s afraid of trying, afraid that nothing will work. Or worse—what if Bobby does remember them, but he still forgets that he and Hanbin are _together_? What if he reverts back to his old feelings, nothing more than friendship. Hanbin’s not sure he could handle it.  
  
He doesn’t sleep a wink (has barely been sleeping at all ever since the accident) and he forces himself into a cold shower to try and wake himself up a little for the visit. If he goes there depressed and mopey, why would Bobby even want to try and remember him?  
  
Donghyuk prepares all the necessary files on his laptop and they pile into the van together. Hanbin sits in the front next to Yunhyuk, because he needs to psych himself up for this and cuddling with the others might just make him feel worse. It’s a weird concern, but he feels completely out of sorts.  
  
Bobby’s father greets them at the door and he looks tired. Hanbin doesn’t take it as a good sign. He tells them that they haven’t been telling him much about his time in Korea, letting him think of things at his own pace. His brain is still stuck on Virginia, though his grip is getting a little better now. They had to buy him an electric toothbrush with a thick base, so he can brush his teeth without dropping the toothbrush in the sink constantly.  
  
Hanbin digs nails into his forearm to keep himself together.  
  
They gather in his room and Bobby’s mom leaves them, even though Bobby seems like he doesn’t want her to go. Bobby’s eyes gravitate to Donghyuk then, since he’s been to visit the most, and Hanbin feels like utter garbage.  
  
It should have been him, here every day. Bobby was _is_ his boyfriend, and instead of fighting his hardest to get him back, he’s been hiding out in fear of losing him.  
  
So he pushes close to the bed, sits in the chair on Bobby’s other side. He wants to take his hand, but if Bobby’s still stuck on Virginia, Hanbin remembers how opposed to physical touches he was at first. Won’t he be like that again now?


	9. sick boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be an OT4 piece of domestic fluff, with Hanbin taking care of his three sick boyfriends (Bobby, Mino, and Jiho/Zico).

_ Six hours ago? That couldn’t be right… _

Hanbin looked at the second list, where he’d written a time close to two hours ago. He narrowed his eyes, face scrunched up in concentration.  _ Did I switch their times? Did I? _

“Hanbin-ah! Come here!”

Hanbin took a deep breath, closing his eyes and slowly counting to five before replying. “Be right there!” He grabbed the nearest bottle of pills and made for the door, only to look down at his hand and realize he’d picked up the wrong one. “Shit!” He headed back for the counter, exchanging it for the correct one. He also looked at the clock and jotted down the time, double checking to make sure he was updating Minho’s list.

He wasn’t entirely sure why or how this had happened, but he was currently dealing with three very sick boyfriends at the moment. All with differing illnesses, of course, because nothing in life was fucking simple.

He stopped in to Minho’s room, eyes falling on a rather pathetic looking figure, hunched over in a bundle of blankets and shivering. He walked swiftly over to the bed, untangling the covers from around Minho’s head. “Lay down, you’re supposed to be resting.”

“I c-can’t,” Minho stated, teeth chattering, “too c-cold.” He reached out from under the blanket, fingers gripping Hanbin’s arm. “Mm, warm.”

Hanbin grinned despite the situation. Minho was the biggest baby out of them all when he was sick. “Time for more pills anyway.” He opened the bottle and took two out, sitting down on the edge next to Minho. He picked up the bottle of water on the nightstand, feeding Minho one of the pills and giving him water to swallow it, repeating the process with the second pill. With both of them down, Hanbin gently pushed Minho back down against the pillow.

Minho’s hand still gripped his arm. “Lay with me?” He asked with pleading eyes that Hanbin couldn’t bring himself to say no to.

“Just a bit, I have to go check on the other two,” Hanbin relented, pulling the covers back and sliding into the bed. Minho immediately turned over, arms reaching out to curl around Hanbin’s torso, legs sliding closer too.

“You’re so warm.” Minho whispered dreamily, pressing his face to Hanbin’s chest.

Hanbin grinned and laid a hand on Minho’s head, fingers running through his damp hair. “Maybe I should call Jinhwan and get him to come over, he can be your furnace while I check on the other two.”

“No,” Minho whined, “just stay with me instead. I’m the sickest, I deserve more attention.”

Hanbin laughed and smoothed the hair back from Minho’s forehead, pressing his lips to the clammy skin for a kiss. “You’re already getting the most attention, don’t be greedy.”

\---

With Bobby finally settled, Hanbin made his way into the bedroom that he and Bobby usually shared, sliding quickly into the room. All the lights were off and the curtains were drawn, the room as dark as possible. He made his way over to the bed, sinking down softly into the mattress. Jiho seemed to be asleep, so Hanbin wasn’t sure if he should even risk checking on him. He supposed a light little touch wouldn’t be so bad, though.

The second his fingers brushed Jiho’s forehead he stirred. “Sorry,” Hanbin whispered, though at least that told him that Jiho hadn’t actually been sleeping, “just checking up.”

“S’okay,” Jiho murmured, tilting his head towards Hanbin’s fingers, “can’t sleep.”

“Hold on a sec,” Hanbin said before laying down alongside Jiho, one hand settling on his head to softly play with his hair. Despite being ill himself, Minho had told him that Jiho found the touch comforting when he was dealing with a migraine, so Hanbin was going to do whatever Minho suggested. “The pills doing anything for you?” He asked, concerned since Jiho couldn’t sleep.

“Kinda,” Jiho answered, sighing lightly as Hanbin’s fingers settled into a soothing rhythm on his head.

“Why can’t you sleep though?” Hanbin asked.

“It’s always like this,” Jiho answered, “without the pills it would be worse.”

Hanbin frowned and kept his fingers moving. “Is there anything else I can do?”

“Nah, just stay here like this.” Jiho answered, and Hanbin complied, laying his head back on the pillow and taking a moment to rest himself, too. The dark quiet was soothing, and Jiho’s breath against his chest was nice. He wasn’t sure how long he’d laid there before he felt a difference in Jiho’s breathing, slower and lighter. Hanbin hoped it meant he was sleeping.


	10. Permission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be a take on the practice of "domestic discipline", but in the context of Bobby helping Hanbin stay on track as a responsible leader (so basically punishing any poor leadership choices/behaviour).

“Before we start this, we have to establish rules.”

Hanbin quirked an eyebrow at Bobby, curious about his statement. “Define rules.”

“You know, like set parameters, laws we must abide by.” Bobby was being sarcastic in his answer just to get a rise out of Hanbin, even though he knew it was probably poor timing. This whole situation was already going to be awkward enough, and here he was, making it worse. Hanbin closed his eyes and took a deep breath, which Bobby took as a warning to stop messing around. He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket, neatly folded in a square. “I already had them printed up, so let's read them together.”

Hanbin's eyes shot open again but he quickly narrowed them at Bobby. “What do you mean, you had them printed? Do I not get a say in our rules?”

Bobby hesitated for a moment, sizing Hanbin up, trying to gauge his reaction. Was he legitimately concerned about their rules of engagement, or was he just pushing for the sake of getting Bobby into character sooner? “No, you don't get a say.” He watched Hanbin's reaction carefully, looking for his tells. “If we're really doing this, then you need to trust me explicitly, and I need to believe that you trust me. Part of that trust comes from you being comfortable with the idea of me being in complete control over everything. This won't work if you're fighting me.”

Hanbin didn't respond, and Bobby took his silence for agreement. “Do you trust me, Hanbin?” Bobby asked, taking one step towards Hanbin.

Hanbin retreated a step and nodded, his eyes downcast. “Yes, hyung.”

Bobby reached out with his left hand, taking hold of Hanbin's right and pulling him closer. “Good. Now come here and let's read my rules. We can discuss any concerns or questions you have after I finish.” Bobby led them over to the couch where he sat down first in the corner, and when Hanbin moved to sit beside him, Bobby stopped him. “No, sit on my lap.” Hanbin narrowed his eyes down at him again but Bobby wasn't having any of it. “ _ Sit. _ ”

Hanbin sat down, weight distributed over Bobby's thighs, mindful of what may or may not cause Bobby discomfort. It wasn't that he meant to question him (he really didn't) because he did implicitly trust him. This just wasn't the way he'd envisioned it happening. He turned his head to look at Bobby, who was staring hard at him.

“Are you having doubts?” Bobby asked.

“No,” Hanbin was quick to answer, shaking his head. “No I’m not.”

“Then why do I keep feeling like you're fighting me?” Bobby was careful not to sound angry with his question, nor did he want to sound like he was accusing Hanbin of bad behaviour from the start. It was important for them to have open and honest avenues of communication, so he had to pay attention to his tone.

Hanbin lowered his eyes, looking at the floor, trying to figure out how best to voice what he was feeling. “I'm just,” he started but stopped, having trouble finding the right words, “just having trouble adjusting, I guess.” He looked back at Bobby, whose eyes were filled with compassion, and that made Hanbin feel a little better, at least.

“Are you uncomfortable?” Bobby asked, even though it was obvious that he was. But it was important to make Hanbin say it out loud, because usually he was a terrible communicator, always keeping everything bottled up.

Hanbin nodded, pouting slightly. “A little.” It was a struggle to admit it, but he felt like he owed Bobby the truth.

“That's okay,” Bobby replied soothingly, his voice soft, “You're allowed to feel uncomfortable. This is new for us, so it'll probably take a while before either of us are used to it.”

“Do you feel uncomfortable?” Hanbin asked him back, feeling like he knew the answer but wondering how Bobby would answer it.

“Well, I don't think I'm really supposed to be telling you this, but we haven't officially started anything yet, so I'll be honest. Yeah, I'm a little uncomfortable, it feels a little weird. But just because we feel weird, it doesn't mean what we're doing is wrong, it just means we're aware of how serious this is, and how careful we need to be. I think it's a good thing.” Bobby was pleased when he saw Hanbin give a half-smile in response, feeling like he'd given him the answer he was looking for. “Anyway, let's read, alright?” Bobby unfolded the piece of paper, holding it up in his left hand, while his right arm was snaked around Hanbin's waist, holding him snugly.

“Rule number one,” Bobby read out loud, “we trust each other. You trust that whatever choices I make, I'm making with your best interests in mind, and I trust that whatever choices you make, you're making them with the knowledge that you trust me to react in whatever way I deem best in that situation. That make sense?”

Hanbin nodded. “Basically you're saying that if I ask for a beating, I'm gonna get a beating?” he summarized with a grin, amused when Bobby laughed.

“Should it worry me that you're expecting yourself to misbehave right off the bat?” Bobby asked, arm tightening around Hanbin's waist.

Hanbin squirmed. “Probably,” he answered.

“Ah, you,” Bobby shook his head, not wanting to smile but unable to help it. “You're really not making this easy on me.”

Hanbin bit the inside of his cheek to keep from grinning. “I'm sorry, I'll try harder.”

Bobby nodded. “Please do that. Let's move on. Rule number two,” he stated, waiting until he had Hanbin's full attention before continuing, “I always get the final say. I promise that I will always listen to you, but when we're doing this, my opinion is the one that sticks. If you disagree with me, too bad.”

Hanbin nodded, serious again. “That's fair.”

“Rule number three: I can't punish you for no reason. No matter how far we get into this thing, we can't lose sight of why we agreed to do it in the first place. This is all to help you control yourself and work on being the best leader possible. I can’t punish you for things that have no impact on how you lead the team.”

“I agree with that, it makes sense.”

“Rule number four: You must respect me. You can’t talk back, you can’t openly disrespect me. If you disagree, you must be respectful about it.


	11. JunBinBob

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be an eventual birthday present fic for my bff, but I ended up writing something different.

Bobby’s close to everyone except Junhoe. He doesn’t know what the problem is, he’s jealous of the others who can joke around comfortably with him.   
  
He’s watching a movie with Hanbin. Bobby’s lounging on the couch, Hanbin’s sitting in a chair. Junhoe comes in, surveys them both, and even though Bobby pulls his feet up so Junhoe can sit down, Junhoe perches on the side of Hanbin’s chair.   
  
Bobby ignores the movie in favour of watching them, jealous when Junhoe teases Hanbin by ruffling his hair. Eventually Hanbin starts teasing him back, grabbing his foot and tickling him, and seconds later they’re a giggling mess, but somehow Hanbin’s got Junhoe locked in his arms and the smile on Junhoe’s face is so happy, his laughter bubbly and carefree. Bobby never gets to experience that on his own. He only ever sees it when Junhoe’s with someone else.   
  
“Junhoe-ya, get off!” Hanbin whines from underneath him, but it only makes Junhoe laugh again, twisting in Hanbin’s lap until he’s laying across him, legs dangling over the side.   
  
“Sorry hyung, you’re comfortable.” Junhoe grins and shifts his attention to the TV.   
  
“Go sit on the couch!” Hanbin yells at him, but Junhoe refuses to budge.   
  
“I don’t want to sit on the couch!” Junhoe replies. “I like it here.”   
  
“Junhoe!” Hanbin whines again, before sliding out from under him and off the chair altogether. But he kneels on the floor in front of him and tries to tickle him again, and soon enough they’re squabbling again, and Bobby’s so annoyed at being left out that he’s sure Junhoe’s laughter is going to haunt him at night and keep him awake.   
  
But it stops a moment later when Hanbin gives up, playfully smacking Junhoe’s face before retreating to the couch and plopping down next to Bobby. When Hanbin lays down with his head in Bobby’s lap he feels a bit mollified, and without thinking about it he winds his fingers in Hanbin’s hair, smiling when Hanbin makes a contented sigh.   
  
But he misses the annoyed glare that Junhoe gives him.   
  
\----   
  
Bobby hasn’t gone to see Hanbin at the studio in a while, but he feels like paying him a visit today. He stops in at the convenience store and buys snacks for the both of them (chips for himself and chocolate chip cookies for Hanbin) before making his way to the building.   
  
Debut is getting close, and Hanbin’s been working non-stop. They’ve been recording and re-recording so much that it’s taking a toll on Hanbin, and no matter how many times they tell him to come home and get at least one good night’s worth of sleep, he’s rarely ever home, always sleeping on the couch in the studio instead.   
  
Bobby might not be able to get him home, but he wants to keep him company for a little while at least. Maybe tempt him home with the promise of a blowjob later. Bobby’s not above dangling that sort of thing in front of Hanbin when it’s for the greater good.   
  
But when he finally makes it to the studio, Hanbin’s not alone.   
  
Junhoe’s with him, leaning against his back as they both eye the computer screen.   
  
“I think that’ll make the melody pop more,” Junhoe says, and Bobby just stands there in a daze. Since when has Junhoe been helping Hanbin with composing? It feels like a kick in the stomach to Bobby.   
  
“Do you think so? I’ve been overthinking this song so much I can barely remember what version this is.” Hanbin admits with a frustrated laugh.   
  
Junhoe rubs his shoulders and sings through the melody before leaning over Hanbin’s back and wrapping his arms around his chest. “I really think that’s how it needs to come out, what we had before was a little too stilted. This one flows a lot smoother, don’t you think, hyung?”   
  
It stings Bobby to hear Junhoe speak to Hanbin so respectfully, his usual confident tone that everyone else hears all but gone in front of Hanbin. Junhoe is a different person around him when they’re at work, he almost seems to speak to Hanbin with a sort of reverence.   
  
Bobby is about to turn around and leave but somehow Hanbin seems to sense that he’s there. Bobby swears that sometimes it seems like Hanbin’s got a sixth sense about him.   
  
  
\---   
  
“What do you want for your birthday?” Hanbin asks, and Bobby is tempted to be cheesy and say that he doesn’t need anything because he’s already got Hanbin.   
  
“I want you to make Junhoe stop being so awkward around me,” Bobby answers, and he frowns when Hanbin laughs.   
  
“What do you think I am, some kind of miracle worker? Something I can actually get you, hyung!”   
  
Bobby pouts and Hanbin kisses him, but Bobby’s only half into it, mind still occupied.   
  
Hanbin notices and pulls back. “You’re serious about the Junhoe thing, aren’t you?”   
  
“Why am I the only one he’s awkward with? I don’t get it.”   
  
“Fine. I’ll talk to him. Like, actually talk to him about it. Okay?”   
  
“Promise?”   
  
“I promise. Now would you please pay attention to me?”   
  
\---   
  
It’s been three weeks since Bobby’s made his request, and so far nothing seems to have come of it. They still exist together on their schedules, preparing for the full version of their album. They’ve recorded a few new songs, and they just finished filming music videos for them. Bobby thinks they’re great. They’re fun videos for fun songs.   
  
Junhoe’s the same as always, polite to Bobby’s face and friendly, but always holding something back when they’re alone. He wants to ask Hanbin for an update, but then again he  _ did _ ask for it as a birthday present, and Hanbin’s a stickler for sticking to schedules.   
  
Maybe he should talk to Jinhwan instead.


	12. Close To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be a piece about Jinhwan pining over Junhoe, who seems to be interested in a bunch of other people. Turns out Junhoe was actually just pining over Hanbin instead.

It wasn't always like this. In fact, Jinhwan remembers a time when it was very much  _ not _ like this. Sometimes he misses those days, because everything was a little more simple then. Sure, everyone was uncertain about the future, and despite always putting forth a confident face, he'd felt way more insecure than he ever had before in his life. But at least it had been easy to look confident, because back then he had been better than the others. His longer training period was more obvious, his vocals were more stable, and he had better stage presence than any of the other members of the vocal line.

But that's all irrelevant right now, because what he misses most about those days is his lack of interest in his members.

Okay, so maybe he and Hanbin had experimented a bit back then (okay  _ a lot _ ) but it wasn't serious. It was just a good opportunity to figure out what they wanted, and what they both wanted was a boyfriend. Despite having a good rapport, neither of them were really each other's type—Hanbin was too independent and focused for Jinhwan's taste, and Jinhwan was too emotionally needy for Hanbin—but at least they got to figure certain things out (like how to give a good blowjob and the importance of the prostate).

But while Jinhwan loved Hanbin, he'd never been  _ in love _ with Hanbin, and Hanbin definitely hadn't been in love with Jinhwan. It was just mutually beneficial. They didn't really mess around with each other anymore (not unless they were super desperate) and they were both  _ in love _ with different people now anyway, so even when they did hook up, it felt different, they both held themselves back a bit.

It was easy for anyone with a pair of eyes to see that Hanbin was head over heels in love with Bobby, and sometimes it made Jinhwan a little sad, because Bobby was probably the straightest guy in the group. Over time, though, Hanbin had worn him down, and even though Jinhwan knew nothing would ever come out of it, Bobby was getting every bit as touchy with Hanbin as Hanbin had ever been with him. But that was enough for Hanbin.

Unfortunately it wasn't enough for Jinhwan, but the object of Jinhwan's affection was even more difficult to manage than Bobby.

Originally when Junhoe had joined their group, Jinhwan hadn't been interested. But that might have also been because of the age difference. Not that Junhoe was exceptionally mature now, but he'd been younger back then, more temperamental and prickly. Jinhwan had felt like more of a babysitter than a brother at times, constantly listening for everything that came out of Junhoe's mouth.

He'd expected Junhoe and Hanbin to butt heads at first, but to Jinhwan's surprise, Junhoe never bristled when Hanbin corrected him. If anyone else tried to give Junhoe advice, all they got in return was a snotty attitude and a glare that could melt the polar ice caps. Eventually Junhoe had settled down, but Jinhwan had spent those first few months on edge, never sure if Junhoe would say the wrong thing to the wrong person.

But now, though? If Jinhwan looked at himself from outside of his own brain, if he switched himself with someone else, the first word on his lips would probably be  _ obsessed _ .

He wasn't even sure why, or when it had all changed. Behaviour that had been irritating and annoying at one point in time was now charming and adorable. The face that had once been too young was now the face he pictured when he jerked off at night.

Jinhwan had it bad for Junhoe.

The problem, though, was that Junhoe did not return those feelings.

Well, to be fair, Jinhwan had never asked him about it, but he knew Junhoe fairly well, liked to think that he knew him better than anyone else in the group did. They were close (he was pretty sure Junhoe would say he was closest to Jinhwan, if he had to pick) and Junhoe often spent his nights laying in Jinhwan's room, talking about his concerns or watching romance movies together.

But Junhoe had never once made a move, had never even suggested the possibility of there being something else. In fact, despite watching a lot of romance movies, Junhoe never even talked about crushes, never came up with a description of his ideal partner no matter how many times Jinhwan asked him. It was like Junhoe was completely ignoring his own ability to be interested in another person.

But Jinhwan was pretty sure he had him figured out. He remembers the first moment he noticed something, and it was during the summer of 2014. They were still filming Mix & Match, and one day Bobby and Hanbin had been called in to do some modelling shots for YG's newest venture into the fashion industry. Jinhwan had brought Junhoe with him in order to go and show their support (which had, in all honesty, mostly included laughing at them when they kept screwing up their takes). Junhoe had been perfectly fine, happy and relaxed.

Then the girls had shown up.

Hanbin had mentioned that they were going to be modelling alongside one of the female trainees ( _ some Thai girl?  _ had been Hanbin's only description) and she had shown up alongside one of the other trainees, a pretty girl named Jisoo. Junhoe had been perfectly pleasant speaking with Jisoo, not the least bit awkward or shy.

But after spending a few hours watching Hanbin and Bobby model with Lisa (during which Jinhwan was very surprised to see Hanbin showing an all too obvious interest in her, which Jinhwan thought was kind of weird, but there were always exceptions to rules, he guessed) he was shocked to find that Junhoe was extremely awkward when they finally met Lisa, barely bowing and not saying a word aside from  _ hello _ .

But Junhoe's eyes never left her, they stayed on her the whole time. He'd thought it was weird, but at the time had chalked it up to Lisa's stilted Korean and Junhoe's stilted English.

Now, though, Jinhwan was willing to bet his life on the fact that Junhoe had a crush on Lisa, and he hated to think about it. That had been almost two years ago, but crushes had a way of lasting through the years when your pool of potential love interests was as tiny as theirs was. Now that Lisa's group was nearing debut, they saw the girls more often, and Junhoe was still every bit as awkward with Lisa as he'd ever been.

\---  
  
 _“_ Come on, talk to me, June-ya,” Jinhwan presses, “I’ve been watching you for a while, and over time you just keep getting more awkward around him.”

_ “ _ Hyung, seriously, we’re  _ fine _ .” Junhoe snaps back.

_ “ _ Bobby is fine—you’re the one who makes things weird.”

Junhoe doesn’t like hearing that. “So it’s my fault?”

Jinhwan raises a hand to calm him. “I’m just giving you my observations. Bobby always comes to you confidently, but then the second you respond to him, you get awkward, which in turn makes him awkward. I just want to know why.”

Junhoe frowns and Jinhwan feels like he’s shutting down, so he figures he might as well jump headfirst into his assumptions. “I have a hunch on what the issue is, so if I’m right, can you just admit it? We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but I’d like for you to at least admit the problem if I get it right.”

Junhoe looks at him and isn’t sure what to say, because there’s  _ no way  _ Jinhwan is going to guess the real reason for Junhoe’s behaviour around Bobby. “Fine.” He agrees, before facing the wall again.

Jinhwan steels himself for a potential outburst, because if he’s wrong he’s expecting Junhoe to react in complete offense. But he’s pretty sure he’s got it figured out, even though the explanation hurts him a little.

_ “ _ You have a thing for Bobby, don’t you?”

_ “ _ What?” Junhoe’s head snaps to meet Jinhwan, an almost offended look on his face. “I do not have a thing for Bobby hyung.”

Jinhwan frowns. He’d been so certain. “I’m sorry, I hope that didn’t offend you, but if you let me explain--”

_ “ _ There’s nothing to explain, I don’t even want to know why you’d think that it’s Bobby that I have a thing for.”

_ “ _ Well you have to admit, you do act weird around him, in a way that you don’t act around anyone else. He’s never done anything to you, so you don’t have any reason to be awkward with him.”

_ “ _ Just because I act awkward around someone, it doesn’t mean I have a thing for them!” Junhoe replies, sounding more defensive than he realizes.

_ “ _ I think it does,” Jinhwan replies, “I know you, Junhoe, and I’ve seen it before. Remember last year, when we went to visit Bobby and Hanbin when they were doing their Nonagon photo shooting?”

Junhoe looks at Jinhwan in slight confusion when he brings that up. “What does that have to do with anything?”

Jinhwan has always held that day in his memory because of the way Junhoe acted. “Because you were super awkward to Lisa the entire time we were there.”

Junhoe blinks in confusion, because Lisa was the last person he expected Jinhwan to bring up. “Lisa? What does she have to do with anything?”

Jinhwan looks at him in slight annoyance. “You were awkward to Lisa, but you had no problem with Jisoo when she showed up to check on Lisa.”

“And you think that means I have a thing for Lisa?” Junhoe asks, incredulous. He’s also a little surprised that Jinhwan hasn’t actually figured the real reason out, yet, if he noticed Junhoe’s awkward behaviour towards Lisa at the time.

“Well, yeah,” Jinhwan answers, “you’re shy around people you like, but when you get shy you just get super awkward instead of super quiet.”

Junhoe can’t believe he’s missed the connection. Part of him wants to tell Jinhwan, because it’s been killing him, keeping his feelings to himself for so long. But on the other hand, it would just make things really weird if anyone else knew. He’s been hoping his feelings would subside over time, but they haven’t.

“So, I know you might think it’ll make things weird if anyone knows, but I promise you whatever you’re feeling, it won’t change anything with me, okay? You tell me about everything else, so if you need to talk about this, you have me, okay?”

Junhoe decides to give in, because he has a feeling that Jinhwan won’t stop until he’s dug himself right to the very depth of Junhoe’s own soul. “Hyung, I don’t have a thing for Bobby, and I never had a thing for Lisa.”

Jinhwan frowns, because he’s certain there’s something that Junhoe isn’t telling him. Why is he being so stubborn?

“It’s Hanbin.”

Jinhwan hears him, but he doesn’t process what Junhoe has said. “What?”

Junhoe’s face flushes and he really doesn’t want to admit it, but he thinks that maybe it will help if he finally does talk about it. “I have a thing for Hanbin, okay?”

Jinhwan’s silent as he takes it in, and when he does he can’t believe he didn’t see it sooner. He’d just assumed every little hint had nothing to do with Junhoe having a thing for Hanbin was due to their similar personalities. But the more he thinks about it, the more he sees it, and the more he understands Junhoe’s awkwardness. Because it was obvious to all of them that Hanbin had developed a huge crush on Lisa the year before, and Jinhwan has always known that Hanbin has had a crush on Bobby since day one.

Junhoe’s awkwardness is based on  _ jealousy _ , jealousy over  _ Hanbin’s affection _ . Jinhwan has a harder time coping with the news than he thought he would. Mostly because he’d built himself up into accepting that Junhoe had feelings for Bobby (because Bobby was  _ safe _ , there was no way Bobby would ever return those feelings) but Hanbin? Hanbin likes guys, and Jinhwan knows for a fact that Hanbin thinks Junhoe is attractive. He doesn’t know if Hanbin would necessarily go for Junhoe, but he  _ could _ , and that’s enough to make Jinhwan want to scream in frustration.

How much more obvious does  _ he _ have to get for Junhoe to see?


	13. With Lots of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ultra cheesy song title is a line from a song that inspired this fic, but it's been so long that I don't remember the song... It's an early 90s hip hop song, maybe Pete Rock & CL Smooth? I can't remember though.
> 
> It's just a fluffy Double B piece.

Sometimes Hanbin got in these weird moods where he worried about things that he knew he didn’t really need to worry about.

Did his fans really like his music, or were they just blindly supporting?

Did the producers really like working with him, or was it just for a paycheque?

Were his members really happy with things, or were they just too afraid of him to speak their minds?

Did Bobby love him as much as he loved Bobby?

He wasn’t sure what caused these momentary mental collapses, but in practice he blamed them on lack of sleep.

They were currently in Japan, a series of concerts planned over the weekend. They’d spent the day practicing the Japanese lyrics and everyone had done well, so Hanbin had asked their managers if they could have a dinner together in celebration of everyone’s hard work. That’s where they currently were.

Hanbin was sitting next to Junhoe at the end of the table, half-listening to the conversation he was having with Jinhwan about  _ some ridiculous story _ . Hanbin smiled at it despite himself, because Junhoe was always over the top in his descriptions. Hanbin thought it was one of his most endearing qualities.

Though his ears were on Junhoe, his eyes were on Bobby, who was sitting on the other side of the table, in discussion with Chanwoo and Donghyuk about something that had Bobby animated and expressive. Hanbin watched him with hungry eyes, hoping he didn't look as desperate as he felt. Despite having been in the mood for a group dinner when they’d gotten here, he was suddenly finding himself feeling slightly reclusive at the moment, wanting nothing more than his hotel bed and Bobby.

He didn’t mean to be possessive, because it was important that he spend equal amounts of attention on all the members. And he liked spending time with everyone--Junhoe especially, given how similar they were. But when he got in these melancholy moods all he wanted was Bobby. It was almost embarrassing, really.

“Are you in one of  _ those moods _ again?”

Hanbin was jolted out of his thoughts by Junhoe’s question and he met his questioning look with a sheepish grin.

“What mood?” He knew exactly what Junhoe meant, and Junhoe had called him out on exactly what Hanbin had been feeling.

Junhoe rolled his eyes and returned to his conversation with Jinhwan. It may have seemed like a cold reaction to anyone who didn’t know them, but Junhoe knew Hanbin, understood him better than anyone else. Hanbin thought that Junhoe probably even knew him better than Bobby did. It was Junhoe’s way of getting Hanbin out of his shell, employed with sarcasm because that worked best.

And it did work, for now at least. He focused on Junhoe’s story, elbow on the table, leaning on his hand.

Junhoe looked back at him, annoyed expression on his face. “Oh, now you want to pay attention? Only after I called you out?”

Hanbin grinned and leaned closer. “You tell the same stories so often, I start zoning out when you start talking.”

“He was actually telling a new one this time, you missed out!” Jinhwan said with a grin. Junhoe shot him an offended look.

“That’s okay, I’m sure he’ll bring it up ten more times on this trip,” Hanbin teased, laughing when Junhoe directed his disgusted glare on him.

“Fuck you guys, I’m not talking anymore!”

“Why are you acting like that’s punishment for us?” Jinhwan teased back.

Hanbin was grateful to Junhoe for his interaction--they could always sense when one another were feeling down and easily were able to bring them back up. He continued laughing as Junhoe and Jinhwan bickered back and forth, and when he happened to glance down the table his eyes met Bobby’s, and Bobby was currently staring at him with an adoring look on his face. Hanbin returned it gladly. Bobby wasn’t in a rush to look away and Hanbin was so content with a single look that he let himself get lost in Bobby’s eyes.

Junhoe leaned back in then. “You guys are fucking gross sometimes,” he said with a tone that sounded every bit as disgusted as his words intended.

Hanbin never took him seriously, though, because he knew Junhoe just as well as Junhoe knew him. “Only when you’re around, because you love it so much.”  
  
“Hanbin-ah, come here!” Bobby called to him, and Hanbin looked down the table at him, shooting him a confused look. Bobby just gestured for him to come, waving him down.

Hanbin had such a tendency of following Bobby’s instructions that the others teased him for it, and tonight was no different. He left his seat and approached Bobby, grinning when Bobby pulled him down to sit on his lap.

“I have to make sure you’re eating, you’re getting so skinny,” Bobby said before pushing a piece of grilled beef against his lips.

“I am eating!” Hanbin said, feigning annoyance as he let Bobby feed him. He loved it when Bobby fussed over him, though he always pretended to be annoyed. Bobby wrapped one arm around Hanbin’s waist, holding him tight in his lap as though he thought Hanbin might try to get up.

Hanbin would gladly stay in Bobby’s lap all night. 

~

“Okay, so, you guys aren’t gonna fuck, are you?” Junhoe asked suddenly, and Hanbin turned to fix him with an inquisitive stare.

“Why, do you wanna watch?”

Junhoe glared at him in disgust. “I have higher standards than either of you.”

“Impossible,” Hanbin teased back, “we are the highest of high standards.”

Junhoe grinned despite himself. “I just noticed you seemed a little moody during dinner, and I know when you get like that all you want to do is cuddle with Bobby. Just wanted to know if I need to sleep with my headphones in and music on tonight, is all.”

Hanbin shook his head at Junhoe’s commentary. It was a valid concern. “No plans for fucking, so you’re safe. Might make out a bit though.”

Junhoe nodded. “I’ll listen to some music for a while then, try not to be longer than an hour.”

Hanbin grinned and nodded. “I’ll set an alarm.”

“And no jerking each other off! Go do that in the bathroom if you want it.”

“For someone who likes watching romantic dramas so much, you sure know how to set a scene for romance.” Hanbin replied with a laugh.

“I’m serious! You guys can share a bed and cuddle, kiss quietly even, but no moaning, I have to draw the line somewhere.”

Hanbin laughed again and plugged his phone into the charger, setting an alarm for the morning. “No moaning, you have my solemn oath.”

“No heavy breathing either, and no rustling sheets!”

“Is there anything we can do?” Hanbin asked.

“Stare quietly into each other’s eyes,” Junhoe replied with a grin, “though why you like looking at Bobby so much, I’ll never understand.”

“Honestly he makes me feel better about my own looks,” Hanbin replied with a serious expression that made Junhoe burst into laughter.

Just then was when Bobby emerged from the bathroom, nothing but a towel held around his waist. They both stared at him before looking back at each other.

“I guess the body makes up for it,” Junhoe said, prompting laughter from Hanbin.

Bobby looked at him, frowning. “Are you talking about me?” 

Junhoe nodded. “We were discussing how Hanbin’s insecurity about his face is cured every time he looks at you.” Hanbin couldn’t help but laugh, while Bobby glared at Junhoe before turning to look at Hanbin.

“Keep laughing and you’ll be sleeping by yourself tonight.” 

Hanbin bit the inside of his cheek to try and suppress it, watching as Bobby moved to his suitcase to retrieve some clothes.

“Okay I’m going for a shower, that should last for maybe six or seven minutes? As soon as the water shuts off you guys need to stop whatever you’re doing. I already imposed sanctions on Hanbin.” Junhoe rose from his bed and made for the bathroom.

“Don’t rush!” Bobby called after him before standing up and abandoning his suitcase. He walked over to the bed, standing in front of Hanbin, and dropped his towel. “Let’s make this quick?”

Hanbin grinned up at him before sitting up and reaching out for Bobby, grabbing his hips and pulling him close. “Let me do you, I’m good for tonight.”

“You sure?” Bobby asked, never one to turn down a blowjob. Hanbin nodded before taking Bobby’s dick into his mouth, his way of saying thanks for Bobby catching on to his needy mood earlier. It wasn’t that he thought that he owed Bobby, or anything. He just liked making Bobby feel good.

Bobby sighed when Hanbin’s mouth closed around him, his fingers carding through Hanbin’s hair, soft and slow, affection poured into every touch. Part of him hadn’t even really wanted the blowjob at first, instead just wanting to fall asleep with Hanbin nestled safely in his arms. It was weird what Hanbin’s moods did to him. Anytime Hanbin got mopey and needy, it made Bobby feel overwhelmingly protective.

He still felt that way right now, as Hanbin sucked him hard. Bobby placed his hands under Hanbin’s chin, pushing up lightly until Hanbin tilted his face up, black eyes staring up at Bobby. Bobby loved Hanbin’s eyes, thought they were the nicest eyes he’d ever stared into. They radiated affection any time they looked at him.

Right now they had that look to them that said “ _ I’m yours _ ” and it made Bobby’s heart skip a beat. Hanbin was making quick work of him, the way he did when he was tired and wanting to get to sleep quickly. Bobby thought it was vaguely amusing how Hanbin was more aggressive the more tired he was. Bobby wasn’t about to last long, though. He came down Hanbin’s throat quickly, hands cupping his cheeks as Hanbin obediently swallowed it all down, pulling off of Bobby’s dick delicately.

Bobby sank down into the bed with him, happily holding his arm out for Hanbin to cuddle into his side, throwing a leg over Bobby in the process. 


	14. Puppy Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raesung has a massive crush on Hanbin, which annoys Bobby.

“Hey hyung, I’m on my way to dance training, but just wanted to drop off a few more files for you, just finished working on the beats! I think you’ll like them.”   
  
Hanbin held his hand out for the memory stick that was passed to him, a confused smile on his face. “Thanks Raesung-ie, you know you can just upload them to the shared drive for me though?”   
  
Raesung shrugged and smiled back at him. “Ah, I know, but I’m running late so I thought I’d hand deliver. See you later, hyung!” He took off again down the hall, and no one said a word until his pounding footsteps were no longer audible.   
  
“He’s such a cute little puppy dog.”   
  
Jinhwan’s comment had everyone laughing. Hanbin put the USB stick down on his notebook before looking at Jinhwan.   
  
“Ah, let him live, Jinan! He’s just eager to share his music, that’s all.”   
  
“More like eager to see the face of his most beloved hyung.” Chanwoo teased, which had everyone cracking up again.   
  
“Surprised he’s not calling you oppa by now,” Bobby added with a grin, but it was obvious from the slightly sulky tone of his voice that he wasn’t exactly happy about the drop in.   
  
“Ah, Jiwon! Are you jealous of a seventeen year old?” Hanbin teased him back, eyes twinkling with mirth. They’d all been friends with Raesung since their trainee days, when he was young enough to make them all feel old. Nothing had changed since they’d debuted—they still showered Raesung with brotherly affection, Hanbin more than any of them. Lately, though, Raesung happened to be around more often, especially since the CEO had given him the green light to work on songs with Hanbin.   
  
Everyone was fine with the arrangement except for Bobby.   
  
\---  
  
“Hey, you’re not really bothered by him being around all the time, are you?” Hanbin asked, because Bobby still seemed annoyed by the way he was holding himself.   
  
“Hanbin, he clearly has a crush on you, and it’s kind of annoying because he knows that we’re together. But he still hangs off of you all the time.” The irritation over the subject had been growing in the pit of Bobby’s stomach for a while, but he hadn’t wanted to say anything.   
  
“He’s seventeen, Bobby! I can’t believe you’re jealous of a seventeen year old!” Hanbin teased, winding his arms around Bobby’s back. “He’s a kid!”   
  
Bobby frowned but wound his own arms around Hanbin. “He’s not a kid,” Bobby replied, shaking his head when Hanbin laughed, “need I remind you that  _ you _ were seventeen when we first started hooking up?”   
  
Hanbin grinned and kissed his nose. “Yeah, and you were eighteen, not twenty! We were two horny and desperate teenagers!”   
  
“Yeah well now we have one horny and desperate teenager, who just so happens to have his sights set on  _ my _ boyfriend.”   
  
“You’re such a cute jealous boyfriend,” Hanbin replied, “makes me feel so loved. Anyway don’t worry about Raesung, okay? Honestly I think you guys are all blowing it out of proportion anyway, I don’t think he has a thing for me at all. We’ve just been close for a long time and he trusts me, and now that I’m doing well he wants to stay close, you know? I mean look at it this way—he’s sucking up to me the way that I suck up to Teddy. Nothing but professional admiration.”   
  
“Bullshit! I clearly remember you telling me at least once, maybe multiple times, that you’d totally suck Teddy’s dick if he asked.”   
  
“Fuck, Jiwon!”   
  
“Don’t even deny it!”   
  
“Fine, I’m not! You’re not jealous of Teddy now, are you?” Hanbin asked with a laugh.   
  
“Not one bit. Why? Because Teddy’s not gay, and even if he was, you’re like a little baby to him, he’s known you too long.


	15. I Missed You More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be a super indulgent piece of fluff about Double B through the years, navigating the ups and downs of trying to keep a secret relationship despite fame and success, only to teeter on the edge of potentially calling it all off.
> 
> This is the only fic that's actually got a beginning and an end, it's just the middle that's missing. Thought it would be a nice last piece. ;)
> 
> The title comes from a song called "Love You More" by Racoon. Look it up! ♥

_ “What are you willing to risk for me?” _

_ Hanbin rolled his eyes at the question. “Everything!” _

_ “Come on, be serious,” Bobby whined, before wrapping his arm around Hanbin’s shoulders. “Am I more important to you than the music?” _

_ Hanbin laughed and pressed a kiss into Bobby’s neck. “Hyung, you are my music.” _

_ That answer seemed to mollify Bobby, who just smiled and pressed his lips into Hanbin’s hair. Hanbin couldn’t help but think on the question again, later, when Bobby was sleeping next to him. How much would he really be willing to risk for his relationship? His knee jerk reaction was “everything” and he wondered if he really meant it, or if the auto response was simply ingrained into his brain. _

_ ~ _

“I thought we were going to Jiyong’s party?”

Hanbin hated hearing the disappointment in Bobby’s voice, hated that he heard it more often than he was comfortable with these days. “I already called him and told him I couldn’t make it, but you should still go.”

Bobby frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. “Why are you skipping this time?”

Hanbin could hear the frustration even though he knew Bobby was trying to hide it. They were both very good at masking their negative emotions with one another. “Teddy’s entertaining a few American producers tonight, but they’re flying out to Tokyo tomorrow. I’ve been trying to work with these guys for a while now, I can’t pass this up. It’s just shitty timing.”

Bobby nodded, understanding as always, but there was something in his eyes that Hanbin did not want to see. Like he was reaching the end of his rope.

“Let’s talk about this later?” Hanbin asked, hoping that Bobby could hear the honesty in his words. He didn’t want him to think he was just brushing him off.

“Yeah, sure.” Bobby agreed quickly, though Hanbin could hear the frustration clearly.

He finished buckling his belt and stared at his reflection in the mirror, unusually nervous. He’d been in the game long enough now to know his worth as a producer and composer, no longer nervous to meet with successful senior producers. He had people asking for him, now, after all. He was still young, but he had a reputation for good music. But he felt nervous tonight, and he was sure it had everything to do with his relationship.

He reached out for Bobby, wary when Bobby stiffened at the touch. They really needed to repair this. “Hey, you know I’m sorry about skipping out, I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“Yeah? When?” Bobby asked quietly, and Hanbin could hear every accusation that Bobby didn’t want to say out loud.

Hanbin didn’t have an answer. For the first time in his life, he didn’t have an answer.

~

“How is this enough for you? We never see each other except in the studio, we don’t even go to sleep together that often. I just wake up in the morning and you’re there, you never even wake me up when you get back.”

Hanbin bit back bitter answers that wouldn’t solve anything despite being solid reasons. He did his best work in the later night hours, and he didn’t want to ruin Bobby’s sleeping pattern. Bobby was still right, though.

“I always told myself I didn’t want to date another idol, because having to hide everything would be tiring and hard. But things weren’t supposed to be like that for us. We live together, we work together, so hiding this was supposed to be okay because I’d still get to spend the majority of my day with you. But I rarely see you, and when we are together I feel like your mind is always somewhere else. I feel like you’re with me, but you’re not  _ with me _ .” It all came out of Bobby in a bit of a rush, like he’d been holding it in for far too long, to the point that when the first crack appeared, everything rushed to get out in the open.

Hanbin held Bobby’s gaze through it all, wanted him to know that he wasn’t taking this lightly. Because even though he understood Bobby’s point, they had an inherent disagreement over how much was enough.

“Being able to fall asleep next to you _ is _ enough for me,” Hanbin finally answered, “I’m still worried about getting found out, I worry all the time about what it would do to us. But the fact that I can fall asleep next to you every night makes it all worthwhile for me. I have safe places to kiss you, we don’t have to meet in some parking lot without cameras. I never imagined I’d get a relationship that could be hidden so easily. I know we’re not together so much anymore, but we’re both busy.”

“That’s not enough for me, though. I want more. I don’t want to have to rely on safe spaces and paying off security when we go out. I want to walk down the street with you, I want to kiss you and not care who sees. I thought I could do this secret thing, but I can’t. Not when you’re so distant.”   
  
“You know we can’t do that,” Hanbin replied, “we can’t go public, not in this industry.”   
  
“Why not?” Bobby asked. “We’re not new anymore, we’re a big name, Hanbin. We saw that with our world tour this year, we sold out everywhere, even extra shows. Every release we put out dominates the charts. This won’t break us.”   
  
“You don’t know that,” Hanbin replied, “this will alienate the majority of the public.”   
  
“Opinions won’t change if we don’t give them reasons to change.”   
  
“I know, but why does it have to be us? Why now?”   
  
Bobby’s eyes blazed with anger, even though he was trying to hold it back. “It’s cowardly for it to not be us. Who else should it be? We’re a huge group, hell you’re the hottest person in the industry right now, everyone wants to work with you. You want some no-name from a tiny label that no one cares about to be the one holding the torch? When we have power to make people listen?”   
  
Hanbin felt like Bobby had just kicked him in the gut with his comments, and while he had a point, the responsible leader in him wanted to protest. “Did you talk with the others about this? We’re a 7 member group, their opinions matter just as much as ours.”   
  
Bobby crossed his arms and glared, like he was offended that Hanbin thought he didn’t care about the others. “They’ll agree with me.”   
  
“But you haven’t asked them, have you?”   
  
Bobby didn’t answer, and Hanbin waited for him to continue.   
  
“I’ll give you the rest of the year,” Bobby said, “December 31st, New Year’s. If you don’t agree that we should go public by then, then we’re done. I can’t keep hiding.”   
  
“Bobby,” Hanbin pleaded, because that was only five months away, and there was so much going on for the rest of the year, when was he supposed to think about this?   
  
But Bobby’s eyes were stone cold. “I mean it, Bin. If I’m not worth it, then I’m not wasting my time.”

~   
  
“What am I supposed to do?” Hanbin was in a daze, still shell-shocked from Bobby’s ultimatum. He was supposed to be working on his album (and he was in the studio with Teddy) but all he’d done so far was complain to the senior producer about his situation.   
  
“Do  _ you _ want to go public? If there was nothing holding you back, would you do it?”   
  
Hanbin’s response was immediate, requiring no thought. “Of course I would. I hate that he thinks that this whole thing doesn’t bother me, because it does. Just because I say that it’s enough to have what we have, I mean that given our situation, it’s enough. Of course I want more! But it’s not just us. I’m worried about the other five, I’m worried about us as a group. And I’m worried about the company, about what the investors will say.”   
  
“Do you think he’s not worried about that?” Teddy asked, and Hanbin was annoyed by the question.   
  
“In short? No, I don’t think he is.” And that was really his biggest problem. Through the entirety of their relationship, Hanbin had always felt like he’d been the one carrying the majority of the weight when it came to responsibility. Bobby had such a carefree personality, while Hanbin took his role as leader seriously. “I  _ have _ to worry about it, I’m the leader. He always gets a free pass to think about what  _ he _ wants, and not about what anyone else wants. I’ve never gotten that luxury. He just keeps throwing it in my face, acting like he cares about us more than I do. Like I wouldn’t sacrifice things for him.”   
  
“Have you talked to anyone else about it?”   
  
“No, I haven’t had time with album prep.”   
  
“Make time, Hanbin. Five months is a long time, but it goes quickly when you’re busy. We’re almost done with your album, and then you’re going to have your solo tour. You need to make time now.”   
  
“I’m just mad that he’s chosen now, when he knows I’m busy.”   
  
“Don’t you think that’s part of his reason, though? You say you’re willing to sacrifice for him, so he’s going to make you prove it. What’s most important to you?”   
  
Hanbin scowled. “Ah why am I listening to you anyway? Not like you’ve made any of your relationships work.”   
  
“Don’t be a bitch, Hanbin. I’m trying to help you because I care about you. I’ve seen my fair share of relationships ruined by this industry, my own included. People are afraid to be themselves and be happy. There’s a good reason for that fear, but he’s not wrong. Someone needs to take that first step and put themselves out there, and you guys  _ are _ big enough to do that now and survive it.”   
  
Hanbin narrowed his eyes and looked at him. “I didn’t tell you he’d said that.”   
  
Teddy shrugged. “You’re not the only one who talks to me, you know.”   
  
Hanbin sighed.   
  
Teddy just shook his head. “If you really want a pep talk, talk to Jiyong. You know what happened with he and Seunghyun.”   
  
“I’m afraid to talk to Jiyong.”   
  
“Why?”   
  
“I’m afraid he’ll convince me to do it. I can’t live with his regret. How long ago did they break up, and they both still look at each other with longing? I don’t want that to be me and Bobby.”   
  
“Then you know what you need to do, Hanbin.”

~

_ “Album of the year--B.I!”  _

Words he repeated in his head in constant daydreams, but ones he’d never let himself expect to hear out loud. His album.  _ His. _ Their first daesang three years ago had been an amazing feeling, unexpected and shocking and such sweet vindication. They’d had a few more since then, but he hadn’t ever thought he’d get one on his own.

But this year had been Hanbin’s year, his long-awaited solo,  _ finally _ . He wasn’t bitter at having to wait--he’d rather spend his time ensuring the success of his group and his members, because his team was about more than just his own success. It was a relief, though, finally tasting the sweetness of solo success.

But even though things seemed perfect right now, even though Bobby had been the first one up out of his seat to congratulate him, there was still something unresolved there, still affection that was strained at the end of its rope. They’d talked about it, of course, but the impasse remained.

Bobby wanted more than Hanbin thought was safe to give.

But now, though… He’d prepared for the possibility of his solo daesang, prepared for what he’d say if he won. He only had one chance to do this right, and if he was going to commit to the idea, he wanted to commit fully, on the biggest stage possible.

His fingers closed over the award, cool to the touch and all his. His moment. His opportunity. He took to the microphone and started his speech carefully, quick to get in all the necessary thanks, to the company, the CEO, his fellow producers, his family, his members. Most of all his members.

“There’s one last person I need to give thanks to,” he started, eyes on that face seated far away, but barely close enough for Hanbin to make out his expression. He hadn’t told Bobby he’d be doing this. Bobby had given him until after New Year’s to make a decision, one way or the other, about how their relationship was going to go. Hanbin had chosen already.

“Ever since we started training together, ten years ago, you’ve always been there at my side, my biggest support, my biggest fan. Yours was the voice that led me out of every dark patch, yours was the hand that guided me when I walked blindly. Without you I wouldn’t have achieved half of what I have, I wouldn't be the person I am today, and our group wouldn’t be what it’s become. Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for being my partner--not just in music, but in life. I love you, Jiwon.”


End file.
